can i be real with you all real quick?
i hate christmas.
it's just an excuse to buy stuff. you don't NEED all those gifts. you're just gonna dump it all out anyway. and i could care less about family. i want to stay as far away from my family as possible. they all treat me like the scum of the earth or a walking tragedy. a sack of wasted potential. i sometimes wish i could hide in a corner somewhere and fade away from this world. this world that provides me with nothing but hurt. call me a cynic but im just being realistic.
funny thing is that i used to be very open about my hatred of christmas but lately ive been feeling extra paranoid, like something is watching me, expecting the "right reaction". i hate that feeling. of being judged. scrutinized. im tired of keeping secrets im tired of being on the edge 24/7 im tired of existing. man im being so edgy rn
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