i swear i have all these leads and it feels like it's all going nowhere!!! and i know i should try to document them more, that's what i'm here for, but i just keep forgetting!!!!!! and it feels like im letting you all down, yknow? i keep forgetting to write about the weird offshoot and the rumors and the fact i've found people who are linked to the damn site (they haven't responded to my emails though :/) and how fucking elusive wiley's games is... i know all these things and i know i need to get to these and i should tell you people but i just keep forgetting and it's like what's the point? why can't i do this right? i vowed to focus on this but im still not good enough to even have the energy to finish what i started... haven't cleaned my room in months, floor covered in papers... i look like shit tbh. i need to get back on track. i already threw away everything for this. like, i havent spoken to my friend in months. i hope she doesn't think i hate her or anything for that honestly... i just... i cant keep on doing this, pretending that everything is fine, that my entire self worth is defined by a fucking game for babies. god. thats so stupid honestly. all of this over that????
oh. something's seeing this isn't it? i should just go to bed.
No comments:
Post a Comment