my memory's gotten REALLY bad lately i just realized. like. i cant really remember any of the past couple of weeks bad. i dont know if thats normal. i dont know if any of this is normal. i've been impulsively scratching my skin to get the eyes under it out but i KNOW nothing is under there. everytime i turn this fucking screen on i feel like my mind goes blank. i have a lot of voicemails. my friend's worried about me. sometimes i wish she could stop worrying. sometimes i wish she would let me go and let me become one with the wires and motherboards. but i also want to be saved, isn't that funny? i've known her for years yknow. and throughout those years she proved herself as kind courageous honorable... she's everything im not. she's so better than me in every way why would she willingly hang out with me. i don't get it. i dont get her. she's like perfection and im just. what am i? like really in the end of things. what if im just lines on a page words on a screen. no no no no thats not the case sabie get a fucking grip. man i need a therapist
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