sorry for my inactivity, school shit.
speaking of school shit, hoco is coming up in a couple of weeks. i don't really know if i should go or not though. usually i only go because my friend's going. she's honestly been the main deciding force on if i do certain things or not lmaoooo. i should start calling her something other than my friend. how does AL sound? nvm she's not weird al uh. A? ave? fuck it ave.
i've been looking at the other site johnny mentioned in my guestbook. "starkidgames.com" or something. i'll probably write something on it but i don't really have the energy for that rn.
i've been having the dreams again. this time they're all about ave for some reason. it always starts with us some form of affection. sometimes it's her comforting me. and then i plunge a knife deep in her back and she rots in a blink of an eye, leaving nothing but dust. and at first i always feel nothing until i realize she's gone gone and i freak out. then He comes to soothe me and i feel better and wake up. i never figured out who He is though. only that He is someone to be feared. He won't leave me alone either and im so pathetic for even letting Him influence me im so sorry ave im so
god i just had an episode again. it was so bad i needed to open the window for some air. which then led me to check the calendar. october tenth. tenten. happy birthday to me i guess. i am officially a year older, the big one. and there was no fanfare. nobody cared. not even me. i spent my birthday looking at a site for babies. i'm such a loser. why does ave even like me.
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