this blog is slowly going off the rails lolllll

does anyone even read these?? anyways, the other day i was talking to johnny (netlore forums regulars probably know him as plugsocket225) and for some reason for a split second i felt the strangest sense of deja vu from one random sentence. something about his childhood? my memory is fuzzy as fuck right now. i don't even know why i'm immediately reporting it on here, it's probably nothing. 

i spent so much of my childhood behind a screen. it persists today too, obviously. how many memories did i lose to the whims of the internet? sorry for getting heavy. the summers are just so very lonely. and so boring. 

urban legends are stupid.... and yet....

 please ignore my last post lmao i just had another episode. yeah im probably going insane but i don't have the time for that... lol i know nobody here wants to hear my thoughts anyways i just write into the void. anyways my friend was talking to me today about urban legends and she mentioned this one she heard about in one of her music magazines about reported sightings of some sort of thespian cult around some town in michigan? im not joking they sing and dance and shit and hang around the theatre its so stupid. apparently they sacrifice people and turn them into zombies too. we both agree that it's dumb but really fucking funny. like whats next is the apothegetics a psy-op by the cult? LMAO. anyways yeah uh i tagged all those weird posts with "..." so pleassee ignore them. 

im so sorry for not updating this blog

i had the fucking dream again. i can't take this shit any longer im so close to becoming a fucking recluse or something. im so tired. the eyes keep on telling me i want to but i don't i cant i have basic morals. i think im going crazy but i don't know if i really have the mental fortitude to care right now. someone's watching me right now as i type this. i don't know who though i can't tell i keep looking over my shoulder and they're gone. i know this is stupid i know nobody will believe me i know im going crazy but i swear all this started from the fucking games. i just want help i don't care how someone help me pelease

general update post...again.

shit dude i keep on forgetting to write for this blog. so much for a diary amirigghhhtt lmao. i've been busy doing absolutely nothing in my room lollll. i've been playing video games, watching animations and like, doing the drowsytown stuff. god the drowsytown stuff is driving me insane. there's just. nothing? i don't even know where pat got those pictures i swear to god.. it's like it never even existed i swear to goood. i've been having the eye dreams again though. oh shit i never mentioned the eye dreams. ok so they all vary - but they all share two things - this distinct feeling that i'm being watched, but it's a good thing for some reason, and a purple eye thing. probably nothing, i've had weird stress dreams. anyways uh. not much else to report on that, unless you wanna hear me talk about ARM's music

something normal for once

finally talking bout something normal lmaoooo..... anyways i've been reading some horror books recently, i like the yellow wallpaper the most at the moment, but maybe when i get into the eldritch shit i'll like that more - i think it's cool. my friend doesn't really like horror media but she spends most of her free time with me, her guitar, or on her 3ds. she doesn't go on the internet at allllll. not even a glimpse of a computer. she says her mom is absurdly scared of her going online for some reason. lol. i'd make a joke that it's cause she knows theres a fucking creature loose on the net but it's kinda unfunny thinking about it. uh. yeah 

school's out woooo

 been a while lol. i don't actually have much to comment on, same old same old lmao. nothing happens at school. i picked up a copy of some obscure comic at the book store but i haven't read it yet. is this a good recap? probably not lmao. i've been listening to vocaloid songs on repeat. uh. so anyways see you soon

ran out of things to blog

taking a break lol!!! i have nothing to post here tbh so im just gonna lay down for a while and maybe ill blog again soon lawl

her.

 my life feels like a series of vignettes to be honest. i spend so much of my time on the computer, its my only escape, well, except for her.

my heart jumps everytime i see her. i can't help but smile and be happy around her. i love her (platonically). i wish she was on the internet more so we can connect further, so much of my life without her is behind a screen after all. i want to be with her more. she's so pretty and wonderful and her laugh and her smile makes me just wanna hug her tight and i dont know if its normal or not. its like she's the only light in my life that isnt blue light. the way her skin bumps against mine her eyes her hair her....everything.......shes like a angel.

june already?

ah shit, forgot to post the last two days. my bad. god it's already june? i already talked about this last time but man.....

i had another nightmare today. i was walking around a town whos name i cant recall...i felt the audience. i knew they wanted a encore. i was dragging a mallet. i had to do it again. i couldn't not do it. i swung it at someone. i woke up. it was foggy as usual but there was a doll there? i don't know why. other than that today was the same as usual. i woke up, went to school, surfed the web, and i guess ill have to sleep soon. sometimes i just wish things started happening for once, but what if it's bad. sigh. ill write more 2morrow.